she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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