U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
