I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize