I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize