I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
