There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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