8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize