Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
