True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
