you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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