Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
