she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
foreskin is a definite game changer
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
