You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
