I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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