We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
