make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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