pedialite and red bull = repair kit
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
