He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
