Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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