And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
