We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
