Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
