I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
