she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
