A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
