weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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