God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
