Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I understand Curling. That high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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