are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love you.
Bad choice
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
