There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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