you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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