I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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