I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
