Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
