i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
