I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
