As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My feet surprised me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
