There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
