Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Screwed.edu
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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