You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am naked and annoyed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize