Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
