So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
