is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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