He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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