every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
