this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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