...so i touched it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
