I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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