When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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