I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
