i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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