Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
