things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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