At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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