I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
