i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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