Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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