I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
