3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
two words...techno handjob
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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