Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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